My only concern with my child not attending school is that they miss out on the opportunity to interact with their peers (the part of my own schooling experience that I loved and valued the most). And this is why until today I was anti-homeschooling (perhaps it is also from seeing the way conservative [rather than little “l” liberal] families misuse it). I want my kids to come into with lots of different cultures, to learn that there is not just one acceptable type of family, to develop tolerance and acceptance. The easiest way of them developing those sort of skills to me appears to be sending them to school (though I hate the idea of them being judged/graded by teachers).

So then my question is obviously, how often do your children interact with their peers (without you being nearby, that is - I had less supportive parents than you so school was also a way to freely play without being stifled worrying what my parents would think) and in what circumstances? As an adult, I still look back fondly and wish I could go back to high school again because I had such a wonderful adventure (even though I was never popular, sporty or got straight As, and went through my fair share of embarrassing situations, making mistakes, being teased, and feeling inadequate at times). And I feel like I want my child to have that adventure, even if its a bit rocky at times, and even if there is way too much focus on grades and trophies.

I am so impressed, however, that you dared to let your daughter decide everything for herself. It’s so reassuring to know that you can trust kids to figure out what’s best for themselves. Until I read your article I was at risk of going down the exact same path (of no TV, no junk food, etc), and I was at a loss to figure out how to get my child to not eat lots of junk food without labelling it as bad. At this stage I’m going to delay for as long as possible their inadvertent discovering of TV and chocolate (I’m guessing this delay will not be very extended, given the grandparents’ lifestyles), but once they know about it and if they ask for it, I’ll explain that the reason I haven’t fed it to them until now is because while it tastes good it doesn’t help your body grow strong as much as vegetables, but that I’ll add it to the snack choices in the cupboard so that’s its there if they want to have some. I will also pre-warn her that if she chooses to eat too much chocolate, her body might start to feel sick.

Also if your daughter is choosing to eat what she wants when she wants, how do you organise family dinner times? Do you as parents just end up cooking whatever she feels like eating, and eating it yourselves, or do you not cook “proper” dinners and just let her snack from the fridge/pantry whenever she feels like it, and she asks you to help her if she wants something that requires cooking? (I note that your family has grown since then, but its easier for me to just ask questions based on the information from your control to connection article.)

Anyway, I’m definitely going to do more research on this, starting with your site. It’s changed my whole perspective (my mother-in-law recently had a surprise fifth child [the rest of her children are all grown up] and I admit I used to think secret disapproving thoughts [not having any parenting experience myself yet] when she allowed her one-year-old tastes of french fries, ice-cream, etc when he reached out for them). Thanks for writing that article.

I am in agreement with Stef.

Can you tell me how the Sudbury Valley model is mis-aligned with unschooling?

I would be interested to hear your comments

Brett