arun on Aug 30 2010 | Filed under: conflict & communication, looking out, nvc & pet, others wisdom, parenting
Anne is leading the way out of our funk by hitting the parenting books once more. After our recent lows it feels like we are re-learning so much. Anne is also being greatly assisted by the work of Elaine Aron on The Highly Senitive series of books — Anne, M and Z all share many [...]
arun on Apr 02 2010 | Filed under: conflict & communication, dad stuff, family diary
I have sunk to new parenting lows. Since the birth of our third child I’ve truly been getting to know my “inner Homer”, and it’s not pretty! We absolutely love H (that’s our wonderful new baby, not Homer) and we feel incredibly, incredibly, incredibly blessed by his arrival… but at the same time it has [...]
arun on Jun 27 2008 | Filed under: conflict & communication, parenting, unconditional
Sibling fights… There are those who intervene at the first sign of trouble. Then those who just “let them work it out” and don’t intervene at all. My current approach is to intervene when I think I can be of some assistance by facilitatating rather than solving. It involves a clear intention if not a [...]
arun on Feb 21 2008 | Filed under: conflict & communication, control & connection, parenting
Let me unequivocally state here and now that consistency is essential, non negotiable and crucial in parenting… if you are going down the behavioural modification road. The bastion of mainstream parenting, this approach generally has shaping and moulding children’s behaviour into acceptable forms as its primary goal. Studies show that consistency is crucial to this [...]
arun on Nov 09 2007 | Filed under: aware, conflict & communication, control & connection, inspiration, newbies, nvc & pet, others wisdom, parenting, unconditional
These days if someone is wanting to make changes to their parenting I recommend Pam Leo’s Connection Parenting. If someone is the partner of someone who wants to make change then I would recommend Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting. Kohn’s book presents a strong case, with well referenced research and in that sense presents a compelling [...]
arun on Nov 06 2007 | Filed under: 4 to 8 year old, conflict & communication, family diary, laugh
Driving along yesterday and M who is 5yrs was having a shouting match over a fairy doll with Z who is 18months. Im the sort of person who needs to concentrate when I drive. Well actually the driving bit is fine… its the driving in the right direction that seems to consume every brain cell [...]
arun on Oct 05 2007 | Filed under: conflict & communication, looking out, parenting
“Natural Consequences” are promoted by many mainstream parenting sources. It often involves a parent or teacher not intervening in an event to allow the child to experience the consequences and learn from it. Other definitions interchange and flow it into “logical consequences” which are enforced consequences that have some logical or thematic flow from a [...]
arun on Sep 08 2007 | Filed under: conflict & communication, looking out, mindfulness, others wisdom, parenting
A brief aside – I wanted to acknowledge people so far who have responded to the last post, 8 Things About You. With the variety of answers and insights so far it has now officially become my favourite post on this site. Please add your own answers if you have not done so already… especially [...]
arun on Aug 23 2007 | Filed under: conflict & communication, mindfulness, parenting
Anne has been putting me on to the likes of Eckhart Tolle & Jon Kabat-Zinn recently. They both discuss the importance of being aware of the moment as the moment is all we have. In parenting terms, I am beginning to realise the particular importance of being aware in “that moment”. You know the moment [...]
arun on May 30 2007 | Filed under: 4 to 8 year old, aware, conflict & communication, newbies, nvc & pet, parenting, unconditional
Its difficult for me not to regret how I used to respond to my daughters moments of anger when she was three. I was still in my “rules and boundaries” world view (it was before I started listening and learning from my daughter). So when M, my daughter was angry and yelling, the first thing [...]
