Let me unequivocally state here and now that consistency is essential, non negotiable and crucial in parenting… if you are going down the behavioural modification road.
The bastion of mainstream parenting, this approach generally has shaping and moulding children’s behaviour into acceptable forms as its primary goal.
Studies show that consistency is crucial to this end. OK, […]

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These days if someone is wanting to make changes to their parenting I recommend Pam Leo’s Connection Parenting. If someone is the partner of someone who wants to make change then I would recommend Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting.
Kohn’s book presents a strong case, with well referenced research and in that sense presents a compelling […]

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Driving along yesterday and M who is 5yrs was having a shouting match over a fairy doll with Z who is 18months. Im the sort of person who needs to concentrate when I drive. Well actually the driving bit is fine… its the driving in the right direction that seems to consume every brain cell […]

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“Natural Consequences” are promoted by many mainstream parenting sources. It often involves a parent or teacher not intervening in an event to allow the child to experience the consequences and learn from it. Other definitions interchange and flow it into “logical consequences” which are enforced consequences that have some logical or thematic flow from a […]

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A brief aside – I wanted to acknowledge people so far who have responded to the last post, 8 Things About You. With the variety of answers and insights so far it has now officially become my favourite post on this site. Please add your own answers if you have not done so already… […]

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Anne has been putting me on to the likes of Eckhart Tolle & Jon Kabat-Zinn recently. They both discuss the importance of being aware of the moment as the moment is all we have.
In parenting terms, I am beginning to realise the particular importance of being aware in “that moment”. You know the moment […]

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Its difficult for me not to regret how I used to respond to my daughters moments of anger when she was three. I was still in my “rules and boundaries” world view (it was before I started listening and learning from my daughter). So when M, my daughter was angry and yelling, the first thing […]

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Just got permission from Naomi Aldort to reprint one of her articles that i really liked. Its themes are trust and meeting a child’s needs in the toddler context.
I particularly liked her “declaration of complete confidence in chlidren” which appears at the end of the article. The article Surviving the Toddler Years can be […]

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My mum always says, “children are like the paparazzi… you can do no wrong for 99% of the time but if you make a mistake just 1% they will snap you with their photographic memory!”
Over the last 8 months or so i have consciously been applying many new parenting approaches marked by […]

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I admit to total frustration at times. When our daughter barks a command at her grand mother. Or yells at us after we have just gone out of our way to try to help her. Such experiences are not everyday but they happen… we just got back from staying with my mother in law, so […]

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