Comments on: Surviving the Toddler Years

By: Rya Soeil

Rya Soeil — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 05:04:30 +0000

I totally agree with Dawn, I have read many attachment parenting books, Naomi Alodort’s too. I have tried validation, with my now four year old spirited child, it is comical my darling, does not let go of anything the more I validate the more he hollers, he has been known to go on for hours with me validating and him hollering more and more as he gets increasingly in-touch with the pain of having to give a toy back to another child for example.
I have many friends, a sister too, all with children around the same age that fit into the parenting norm, and co-operate with all the politically correct parenting tricks. Well having two children has shown me that all children are entirely different, doesn’t matter what you do you’ve just got to love them and love and forgive yourself. Trust that just because their acting this way now does not mean that they will grow up into the next mass-murderer. And help them by offering healing, to them and yourself.
Some kids come into this world with big baggage and huge missions, what beautiful courageous souls, they obviously hope that you will have the right love and understanding to allow them the freedom to be entirely unique, what better way than un-schooling.

By: asma

asma — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:26:25 +0000

a very nice and supporting.

By: Nyah Conscious

Nyah Conscious — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 06:57:45 +0000

Yes I see what you are saying Dawn..absolutetly, it is glorifying the methods a bit, although I have also experienced the power of simply validating the childs wants and how comforting that can be.
I have been very much an attachment parent, often “bending over backwards ” to please the children, as I had many children from a very young age. To learn that it is ok to say no, and still pacify oneself with the kindness of validating the childs upsetness without emotional attachment was so liberating for me. I am learning that it is ok to ask them to do things even when I know they wont be happy to do them too, thats taken a while. I now realize that sometimes, children do have to do things (well they don’t have to, as free will is an absolute, yet the right thing to do is something it is ok to assertively request) but they don’t always have to feel happy to do them. I was the sort of mum who would run around and try to do everything for everyone, no longer! recipe for burn-out. And as for always “natural consequences” yes it sure has its place, yet I agree that it could be used unkindly, and yes, life does have a way of teaching us what we need to learn, when we trust it, and trust ourselves and our inner guidance. Thats what I hope to instill in my kids….
Blessings Kind parents!
Sistah Nyah I

By: Dawn

Dawn — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:51:57 +0000

This is a nice article, but I have an issue with it as I do with many of the attachment parenting/peaceful parenting books and articles. When examples are given of how to interact with your child, the examples always end easily in children happily playing by themselves…as in “The little girl asked once more to go home and met with her mother’s validation, but not with any change of plans. Once her need for empathy was fulfilled, she stopped crying and played happily the rest of the time.” This is not realistic. I practice peaceful and attachment parenting to two spirited two-year-olds. I think it is an disservice to parents to set up this sort of scenario with such an easy and perfect ending. It gives unreal expectations that frustrate parents more and make them feel as if they are doing something wrong. None of this is easy, though I do agree it is worth it. I think a less idealistic picture of these type of parenting would help more people.

By: tonya

tonya — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 06:21:07 +0000

wonderful!!!! Thank you.