This Page will attempt to give an overview of some much used terms on this and other similar sites.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER #1: I am not qualified to give definitive definitions and so all you get here is my spin on broad and variously used terms. If one peaks your interest I suggest you explore its complexities and variations from people who are living it…

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER #2: I suggest you use labels for goodness and not evil! To me labels and definitions are useful to a point to understand a new area and choices available. Obviously ultimately its less important what “unschooling” means and more important what is right for you… so hopefully you will find these definitions contribute to your own exciting adventure rather than becoming a limiting framework.

HOMESCHOOLING & UNSCHOOLING

• Homeschooling: ok, i had to get an easy one to get me started This is of course the choice to “educate” children outside of the school system. There are as many forms of homeschooling as there are homeschooled children. Each child and each family tend to adopt an approach that feels right for them and most will shift over time also.
  Some approach homeschooling as “school at home” with a very structured curriculum, others take an eclectic approach which combines less formal times with some structured lessons (often around maths and english but will obviously vary consderably). There are countless options within a curriculum approach (Classical, Religious, Waldorf, Montessori, Charlote Mason etc etc) I will not comment further on these approaches as they are not our experience or style so we do not feel qualified explaining them… if they are of interest to you there are many resources by families actually taking this path (coming soon to our links page).

  For now we will stick to what we have experienced and know…

• Unschooling or Natural Learning: The term “unschooling” was first coined by John Holt to refer to homeschooling. Its meaning has become more defined as a particular sector within homeschooling. It is also sometimes known as “natural learning” (especially in Australia), “child led learning” or “life learning”. It is a form of homeschooling where parents do not follow a set lesson plan or curriculum. Instead they become facillitators and partners in the exploration of the child’s interests. This method is inherently child led and aims to learn from living and exploring life and its experiences. It might involve text books or traditional instruction at times but these would be child initiated and controlled rather than imposed as a “lesson plan” from the parent.
• Radical Unschooling:

Is a relatively new term that describes families who apply the principles of unschooling to a child’s entire life. Beyond giving a child control over their education, radical unschoolers give a child complete control over all aspects of their life including food, tv, video games, bed time etc etc.. Similar to Unschooling, most parents who Radically Unschool are extremely proactive in offering resources, support, unconditional love and where appropriate guidance to facilitate a child’s journey. Click here to read about our journey to radical unschooling.

• Deschooling: This is an acknowledgement that we and any child that has been to school are “institutionalised” in many aspects and begin to rely on being “taught”, having structured lessons and defined, pre planned activities and outcomes etc.. Deschooling is the process for both parents and children to free themselves from the assumptions and socialisation around schooling and move towards unschooling. Among many other things it is about growing in confidence in learning (as opposed to teaching) and reigniting curiousity for curiousity sake.

PARENTING

As well as the following definitions, you can click here to read“Parenting is Making My Brain Hurt”, an article which discusses my early experience of some of the books and tools listed below…

• Attachment Parenting (AP): is a term coined by Dr. William Sears who argued that parenting based on attachment theory provides the best foundation for a child. It is about prioritising a development of a physical and emotional bond between child and parent. In practice it often involves cosleeping, extended breast feeding, baby carrying and more.
• Aware Parenting: spearheaded by Dr Solter is based on Attachment Parenting but interestingly is controversial within the Attachment Parenting community. Similar to Kohn’s perspective (see below) it does not support any form of discipline or rewards. The controversial aspect to some is a recognition of healing of stress and trauma – in practice holding a crying baby or child and after ensuring their basic needs are met (hunger, sleep, well) allowing them to cry without “control patterns”. It argues that crying children should never be left alone but it does have a paradigm shift about tears and tantrums from many Attachment Parenters who would see such behaviour as a sign to nurse, jiggle etc etc..
• Unconditonal Parenting: This is a book by Alfie Kohn whose work has been at the fore front of rejecting the common approach of rewarding “good” behaviour and punishing “bad” behaviour in children. In general Kohn and this approach move away from a focus on behaviour and try to prioritise a relationships and connection. He offers a number of techniques for hearing, connecting and communicating more effectively with children.
• Parent Effectiveness Training (PET): Developed by Thomas Gordon in the 60s as a course for parents, this approach is consistent with Kohn’s philosophy. It uses several tecniques including Active Listening to facilitate the child in reaching their own solutions, the I Message which communicates how the speaker feels rather than delivering judgement or orders in the face of a child’s behaviour and no lose (or win win) solutions.
• Non Violent Communication (NVC): Like PET, NVC is consistent with Kohn’s philosophy. It was developed by Marshal Rosenburg and has at its core a sense of compassion. It uses a process of observing, feeling, needing, and requesting – both of the person you are communicating with and yourself. In a parenting context it is a tool to see beyond particular behaviour and understand a child’s needs. Then establishing strategies with that child to meet both their and others needs.

Note for a more detailed explanation of PET & NVC please click here.

There will be more definitions coming… I know I have not done these terms justice right? Feel free to add your comments on what i have written below…

-----------------
Choose more articles and posts and even SUBSCRIBE TO THE PIT from the columns to the right, or go to the PARENTING PIT HOME PAGE for the latest entries.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS