ABOUT
arun on Nov 22 2006
Welcome to the parenting pit.
This site was created as an expression of and contribution to natural parenting, conscious living & unschooling. As a father of two young children I am having to unlearn, discover and grow every day just to be an effective dad. Anne (my wife/ lover/ friend/ inspiration) and I have created the situation where we both work flexible hours from home with our organic home business. We can therefore share parenting and homeschooling responsibilities between us.
For an explanation of why we chose homeschooling… then unschooling… then radical unschooling… and what these terms actually mean please read my article for Kindred (a fantastic parenting magazine) entitled An Unschooling Journey: from control to connection.
I am constantly thankful for the clarity and courage of Anne. She introduced me to home birth, natural parenting, working from home and homeschooling. These are things that our society does not encourage and were it not for Anne, they are approaches that I would have been oblivious too! After eleven years of being together we have shared, changed, questioned and grown so much together… an amazing journey that I am constantly thankful for.
I have had to shed many assumptions and expand my horizons in this exciting journey. I have found unschooling simply inspirational. The opportunity to support a child to be autonomous, free thinking and powerful! How absolutely amazing and what an honour to have a role in that.
Of course I am also painfully aware that these aspirations often come screaming back down to the reality of a four year old in full rage and a sleep deprived parent 
So this site is really the observations, writings and occasional cartoons of a very excited, imperfect, confused but conscious dad.
I can only hope that it plays a role in others discovering and supporting decisions around alternative parenting, natural living and unschooling.
all the best
arun
ps. I only add to this site a few times a month, so if you are interested you can stay in touch by subscribing to the pit. You will get a short email when there is a new post or article on the site. Simply submit your email at the top of the far right column 
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Just wanted to say I am really enjoying roaming around this site. It is very positive and everything is interesting to read. I know I will dip into it regularly to get myself back on track when “times are tough”!!!
Anna
Thanks Anna, we hope you enjoy your “dips in the pit” during those “tough times” and really appreciate your feedback
Great site, it shows your authenticity to share and learn.
Happy to see another dad spending time at home with kids in a loving way.
I was introduced to ‘aware parenting’ in a masters degree – Social Ecology, where strong connections are made with our society’s childrearing styles to the present condition of the world. So I get really excited to see people like yourself and others contributing, to have the courage to parent differently to the dominant culture for a better future for all.
Parenting is a powerful form of activism.
cheers
Brett
I like this site, and plan to visit here often. I found it through a person on a yahoo group called Always Unschooled. I am an attachment parent, as in that is my dominate style, but am moving forward to the whole non-coersive parenting style quickly. I like having my assumptions challenged. I’m a way older mom. Our child is five and I am fifty two and husband Jim is 48. It is great to be a parent at this life stage and I love it more than I think I could have when I was in my twenties or thirties.
Thanks for the site!!
Kris
I was looking for simple Mendhi designs our church kids might be able to replicate. Your text about taking a trip with M and dealing with challenges lead me to look at more info on your site.
I never chat or blog, but I have to tell you that you are good writers. I was a technical writer for over 20 years and can’t help catching typos and grammar and ugh other writing problems, but your wording was concise and real and thought provoking. I got sucked into several pages.
I am a special ed assistant and I printed off part of the comments to help remind me that kids need encouragement and love. I just have to figure out how to make sure that at the same time they understand the “socially unacceptable behavior” issues. I try to condition them to use polite words, words instead of fists, etc.
thank you for your info!
Hi Arun,
I have been reading your bit on letting go of controlling the food. It is very helpful but I still can’t get my head around actually doing it.
My son (3 yrs old) spends weekends with his father, who feeds him nothing but rubbish and he comes home to me completely out of control. Recently he gave him crumpets with preservative 282 in them. That night he was the worst he has ever been behaviourially and we also had a wet bed.
I give in often and allow him some things but can’t concieve of letting him have what he wants whenever. He will at the moment if allowed fill himself up on biscuits etc before dinner and then have no dinner or get hold of chocolate for breakfast and then have no breakfast.
Any advise would be welcomed. I would love to be able to let go as I too might secretly grab a bit of chocolate before breakfast but I know not to over do it.
Cindy