Before I had children…

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  • before I had children I thought sleeping in was waking up after lunch… now I think its getting to 8am
  • before I had children I wondered what stay at home parents did with all their time… now I wonder what people without children do with all of theirs
  • before I had children friends called me an “unsociable bastard” when I did not go out at night… now when the same thing happens they call me a “responsible father”
  • before I had children I wore a lot of black… now, thanks to my daughter’s constant encouragement there is much colour in my life
  • before I had children I managed to hide many of my personal failing, short comings and control freakish nature, even from myself… now interactions with my children seem to have a knack of exposing them all to the cold hard light of day
  • before I had children I never really appreciated my parents… now I realise that they did the best they possibly could
  • before I had children I talked much, much more and was always right… now I am learning to listen, understand, be more open and am starting to get that being right is not so important after all
  • before I had children I was once a kid myself… now with help from my children I am often reintroduced to the wonderment, excitement, passion, mindfulness and curiousity of that child still within me
  • before I had children my partner and I nearly broke up because I did not want children… now, well, lets just say that we are all entitled to make mistakes hey?
  • before I had children I used walk past earth moving equipment and shiny rocks without a thought… now I can’t walk past a construction site without thinking of my son’s excitement or a shiny rock without picking it up for my daughter’s “crystal” collection
  • before I had children I was vague, had no sense of direction and had the short term memory of a gold fish … now… well… perhaps some things don’t change after all :)

I could keep this up for a long time but I’d rather leave room for you to add your own in the comments below…

18 Responses to “Before I had children…”

  1. on 15 Jun 2008 at 4:45 am Colleen

    That’s beautiful Arun. It’s hard to believe you were ever against having children since you write so eloquently about parenting! Funny how things turn out, eh?

  2. on 15 Jun 2008 at 5:01 am Bel

    Lovely, Arun!

    Before I had children, I thought I’d have some, some day. I had NO idea what that actually meant…

    You’ve summed it up beautifully once again.

  3. on 15 Jun 2008 at 6:25 am Denise

    exactly! :)

  4. on 15 Jun 2008 at 11:05 am mamacrow

    oh I hear you on the first one :(

  5. on 15 Jun 2008 at 12:23 pm Michele

    Before I had children, I thought that when I did have children that we would spend our days reading, doing art, gardening, walking. I literally believed that my child would just naturally do what I liked to do. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH. Thank goodness for RUS or I’d be hosed from trying to make my child be like me.

  6. on 15 Jun 2008 at 1:00 pm sally

    “before I had children I managed to hide many of my personal failings, short comings and control freakish nature, even from myself… now interactions with my children seem to have a knack of exposing them all to the cold hard light of day.”
    The above one resonates for me!

    Before I had children: I was a child.

    Before I had children: I thought punishment was logical.

    Before I had children: I thought that I would teach my children, rather than learn the true meaning of trust and freedom from watching them teach themselves.

    Before I had children: I thought it was all a bit obvious and ‘why couldn’t my mum stay consistent anyway?’

  7. on 15 Jun 2008 at 1:07 pm Happy@Home » Before I Had Children:

    […] love this post from Arun at the Parenting Pit.  My favourite is: “before I had children I managed to hide many […]

  8. on 15 Jun 2008 at 2:40 pm Daya

    Thanks Arun, yet again I cry from the beauty of this unschooling life.
    Before I had children I wanted to be ordinary, now I am.

  9. on 15 Jun 2008 at 3:22 pm Beverley

    Before I had children I knew how important they were, now I know why.

  10. on 15 Jun 2008 at 9:08 pm Ela

    Beofre I had children…. *scratches head* er… I don’t seem to be able to remember a time before I had children LOL

  11. on 15 Jun 2008 at 9:28 pm Frank

    Before I had children, I wanted a life of adventure. Ha! Be careful what you ask for, huh? (grin)

  12. on 16 Jun 2008 at 3:30 pm Karisma

    The best thing here, is that you are actually enjoying your children! So many people do not! Its sad really! I sometimes wonder why some people have children at all!

  13. on 17 Jun 2008 at 2:26 am Hema

    Before…I used to feel proud of my flat abs ( I actually had abs then) and now when my daughter buries her head in my stomach and tells me what nice soft squishy tummy I have, I feel beautiful. Ya, thats it. I was harder then and soft and squishy now.

  14. on 18 Jun 2008 at 6:17 pm Ren

    I really love this. Beautiful.
    What a great meme this would make…..mind if I swipe the idea to share?

  15. on 18 Jun 2008 at 7:16 pm arun

    Yes its true colleen, i totally did not want children and it almost broke up what was then a 7 year relationship. We went to counseling over it. Obviously as you can see from this site ive made a few shifts :)

    im really enjoying what others are saying for their before & afters, feel free to keep posting them and of course Ren please use it however you would like

  16. on 24 Jun 2008 at 9:29 am Ginger Carlson

    I can’t really get in touch what that feeling was before having my own children - feels so long ago now, and so very inconsequential anymore. But the time thing really strikes a chord.
    Thank you for this. Lovely!

  17. on 09 Jul 2008 at 6:35 pm Alex Polikowsky

    I actually did break up with Brian and moved out to another State!!!!!
    I once said I did not want to have children because if I did I would be such a f@#&*ng great mom and would always be with my kids.
    (I was having too much fun being single and free …little did I know this motherhood was soo much better…)
    Some days I think I am a failure but I was right about wanting to always be with my kids.
    Thanks for the great post! Did I ever tell you how much I like reading what you have to say??

  18. […] I do want to direct you to this post over at “the parenting pit”.  It’s a cute one from a homeschooling dad about before he had children. http://theparentingpit.com/2008/06/15/before-i-had-children/ […]

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