Comments on: The Con in Consistency http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/ alternative parenting | conscious living | unschooling Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:39:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 By: mamacrow http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-43635 mamacrow Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:46:53 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-43635 thank you thank you thank you for this. I'm lucky enough to have five wonderful children - 11yrs, 7yrs, 4yrs, 2yrs and 6mths - youngest is a girl, rest are boys. I'm 'negotiate as much as possible but the buck stops with me' baby wearing kinda gal. Much to my joy I'm now the stayathome parent and we'll be homeschooling as of this september. it's natural for me to talor my response to the child and circumstances in question, and I do worry sometimes about consistancy - when it comes to biggies like the 6mth going to bed - even while I know I'm going to (9 times out of 10!) do what my instinct tells me to. Now you've given me a thoroughly logical and well researched argument explaining my approach and have zapped the last of the guilt away - many thanks! thank you thank you thank you for this.

I’m lucky enough to have five wonderful children - 11yrs, 7yrs, 4yrs, 2yrs and 6mths - youngest is a girl, rest are boys. I’m ‘negotiate as much as possible but the buck stops with me’ baby wearing kinda gal.

Much to my joy I’m now the stayathome parent and we’ll be homeschooling as of this september.

it’s natural for me to talor my response to the child and circumstances in question, and I do worry sometimes about consistancy - when it comes to biggies like the 6mth going to bed - even while I know I’m going to (9 times out of 10!) do what my instinct tells me to.

Now you’ve given me a thoroughly logical and well researched argument explaining my approach and have zapped the last of the guilt away - many thanks!

]]> By: Laura http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-40695 Laura Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:02:33 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-40695 The only thing i've found to be consistent is how quicky I will find an exception to every rule! Life just doesn't work that way. I once visited a homeschooling neighbor who had a discpline chart on their refrigerator showing how many whacks with a wooden spoon a child would receive for particular infractions. It made my stomach turn and my heart hurt. They pride themselves on their consistency. And yet, sassy thing that I am, I chuckle at the thought of how I would've handled such audacity from own parents.. "Hmm... let's see, if I kick the dog I'll get 5 whacks, but if I swear at it I'll only get 3... but kicking it really *would* be more fun so the extra two whacks might be worth it..." I mean, REALLY..... The only thing i’ve found to be consistent is how quicky I will find an exception to every rule! Life just doesn’t work that way.

I once visited a homeschooling neighbor who had a discpline chart on their refrigerator showing how many whacks with a wooden spoon a child would receive for particular infractions. It made my stomach turn and my heart hurt. They pride themselves on their consistency.

And yet, sassy thing that I am, I chuckle at the thought of how I would’ve handled such audacity from own parents.. “Hmm… let’s see, if I kick the dog I’ll get 5 whacks, but if I swear at it I’ll only get 3… but kicking it really *would* be more fun so the extra two whacks might be worth it…”

I mean, REALLY…..

]]> By: Beverley http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-38851 Beverley Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:07:47 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-38851 I was consistently inconsistent and my younguns turned out okay. That is, they think they turned out okay. For those that don't know, ours are 21, 25 and 27and I've learned to believe what they say about themselves! cheers Beverley http://homeschoolaustralia.com PS in our family it was the kids that worked hard to modify the behaviour of their parents - thankfully most of their patient efforts worked! I was consistently inconsistent and my younguns turned out okay. That is, they think they turned out okay. For those that don’t know, ours are 21, 25 and 27and I’ve learned to believe what they say about themselves!

cheers
Beverley
http://homeschoolaustralia.com

PS in our family it was the kids that worked hard to modify the behaviour of their parents - thankfully most of their patient efforts worked!

]]> By: brightonwoman http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-38334 brightonwoman Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:18:48 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-38334 I was linked here from a friend's blog, and whoa, thank you for this! I have often berated myself for not being consistent... But the goal is not to turn my kids into trained monkeys, the goal is to teach them morals and values and then let them live! Of course, we SHOULD be consistent in some things, like in love (not withdrawing it when they disappoint us and so on). But yeah, I totally seeyour point. So good. Thanks! I was linked here from a friend’s blog, and whoa, thank you for this! I have often berated myself for not being consistent… But the goal is not to turn my kids into trained monkeys, the goal is to teach them morals and values and then let them live!
Of course, we SHOULD be consistent in some things, like in love (not withdrawing it when they disappoint us and so on). But yeah, I totally seeyour point. So good. Thanks!

]]> By: Amy http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-37429 Amy Mon, 25 Feb 2008 17:22:59 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-37429 Thanks for pointing out the flaws in "consistent" parenting. I've heard the consistency argument hand-in-hand with the "united front" argument, and find neither to be useful. In my pre-kids life I was known to say, "how about we consistently use common sense?" in response to a co-worker who screamed "inconsistent!" every time we attempted to fit our response to the client's individual needs. I really enjoy your blog- thanks for sharing your journey. Amy Thanks for pointing out the flaws in “consistent” parenting. I’ve heard the consistency argument hand-in-hand with the “united front” argument, and find neither to be useful.

In my pre-kids life I was known to say, “how about we consistently use common sense?” in response to a co-worker who screamed “inconsistent!” every time we attempted to fit our response to the client’s individual needs.

I really enjoy your blog- thanks for sharing your journey.

Amy

]]> By: Alex Polikowsky http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-36751 Alex Polikowsky Sat, 23 Feb 2008 20:19:46 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-36751 A great book I read was Becoming Attached by Robert Karan where he talks about Behaviorism X Attachment theories. I highly recomend. Its a big book and quite scientifc but worth reading. A great book I read was Becoming Attached by Robert Karan where he talks about Behaviorism X Attachment theories.
I highly recomend. Its a big book and quite scientifc but worth reading.

]]> By: sam http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-36595 sam Sat, 23 Feb 2008 09:06:38 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-36595 thank you for this latest post. My husband often argues that I am being inconsistent. I have not managed to put what I do into words or explain to him. Reading this it seems simple, next time I will just say "they are not rats!" ;) thank you for this latest post. My husband often argues that I am being inconsistent. I have not managed to put what I do into words or explain to him. Reading this it seems simple, next time I will just say “they are not rats!” ;)

]]> By: Pondering Parenting » The Con In Consistency http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-36577 Pondering Parenting » The Con In Consistency Sat, 23 Feb 2008 07:49:22 +0000 http://theparentingpit.com/2008/02/21/the-con-in-consistency/#comment-36577 [...] for my blog to be. Anyway, here’s the latest post, rethinking the much-hyped concept of consistency in parenting. [...] […] for my blog to be. Anyway, here’s the latest post, rethinking the much-hyped concept of consistency in parenting. […]

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