In Life Learning Magazine
arun on Jul 20 2007 at 7:25 am | Filed under: aware, looking out, nvc & pet, others wisdom, parenting, unschooling | Click here to go HOME | or find out about SUBSCRIBING TO THE PIT |
Life Learning Magazine’s latest edition has reprinted an article I wrote a while ago now called “Parenting is Making My Brain Hurt”, which you can read here.
It was first published in Connections ezine. Re reading the article which I wrote late last year made me think about my use of NVC (non violent communication).
Some months on I have found that I really do not feel comfortable using the NVC “language” out loud. It just sounds so unnatural coming out of my mouth and I consequently have found it to be more of a block. However I do find it useful to internalise the NVC process and language, then find ways of “translating” that into normal “Arun speak” which usually involves one syllable words and is very “unliterary” but does the job mostly.
What is the NVC process? In short – observation of the event, identifying feelings, identifying needs, establishing strategies with both myself and the person I am engaging with (not sure why i bothered with that… if you have not heard of NVC it probably did not shed much light on it… and if you know about NVC you are probably thinking what a crap summary that was).
Anyway I hope that you enjoy the article … it captured my shifts from using distraction/ solutions to validation/ listening which having gotten more feedback from parents I now realise is a much more common challenge than I thought. Lovely to know that Im not the only one struggling with such things.
BTW – You can also follow the link from the article to subscribe to Connections (very recommended) and/ or check out Life Learning Magazine. In fact if you go to the “current issue” option of Life Learning site you can download a digital version of their mag for free to check it out. Both are important resources for sanity, wisdom and ideas for us, so do have a look.
Arun, we’re neighbors. Check out the article right above yours in the index:
http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com/0708/index.html
I haven’t received my copy. I can’t wait to read your article. I have had a similar experience with NVC. Plus, it’s cool to see my friends’ names in print.
Hi Tammy, yes i really enjoyed your article and have already added the book you quote from in it to my list. Your article has now been added to one of my “break glass in case of emergency freak out” pile… for when i hang around my extended family too much and suddenly think “what the hell am i doing with this unschooling stuff!” Made me feel very centered and confident.
Actually i thought it was a really good edition – an emphasis on being present and mindful this time round.
Bizarre how im getting the mag here in australia before you!
I just got my copy in the mail today. I’ll be reading it this weekend.
If you like Buscaglia’s book On Being Fully Human, he has a slew of others. I just finished reading Love. And although it’s not nearly as polished as the other, he brings up a lot of interesting observations about love.
You’re right – it is weird that you got your copy first. What does that say about our postal service, eh?
[...] I’m looking forward to this issue. My blogging friend Arun has a piece in this month’s issue that sounds intriguing. I can’t wait to read it. [...]
We just got a free copy of Life Learning through our subscription to KINDRED. Imagine how shocked I was to get a mag from o/s and to open the front cover and see our dear friend ARUN! There is no escaping it…. you’re everywhere! I love it.
Hi Arun and all,
Just wanted to clear up the wonderment about why folks in Australia received their copies of Life Learning before those in California. I guess you could consider this a little life learning lesson.
Aside from the miseries wrought on publishers by the US Postal Service, the copies to folks around the world – we have subscribers in Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Japan, Canada and many other places – are mailed separately. We have a service that ships them to Belgium and then mails them to far-flung places from there. And yes, it is cheaper and faster. Go figure. Um, perhaps we should try that with the US copies too. 
Glad you all are enjoying Life Learning!
Wendy Priesnitz, Editor
Great article. I’m saving it to read later when I have more time.