One day the Hindu God Ganesha was arguing with his brother Kartikay about who was fastest. They decided to resolve the issue by having a race around the universe… as you do when you are a God I guess.

Their parents Shiva and Parvati watched them from the starting line. The race began and Kartikay got off to an incrediblely fast start. As he sped along he looked over his shoulder and smiled – Ganesha was not in sight!

Ganesha had not moved from the starting line. He watched Kartikay run into the distance. Then he slowly walked around Shiva and Parvati… his parents.

Ganesha was declared the winner of the race.

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The moral of the story? Heavy shit for us parents I reckon!

I dont remember many of the stories that my parents used to tell me… but this one stuck. I think deep down it was a small part of the reason why Anne & I almost broke up years ago when she wanted kids and I did not.

I obviously came around to the idea (and then some!). But the pressure I put myself under was immense. It seemed scary enough to take responsibility for myself, let alone for other little beings.

The freak outs have lessened with some major paradigm shifts over the past few years. My parenting used to be about “protection” which really stemmed from profound fear. These days it has become about “exploration” which stems from profound wonder.

Before it was about building walls around my children. Now it is about building a foundation from which they can grow and live. Before there was a weight of responsibility, now there is a real freedom of possibility… I could go on, I feel like Im on a role now… but you get the picture hey?

The story still echoes some truth to me… it’s so easy to forget how much a parent’s love, attention and validation actually means to a child. How much a small gesture on our part can make a child’s day. Or even how simple acceptance by our own parents can save thousands of dollars of therapy.

But these days I dont primarilly see Anne and I as our “children’s universe”… rather as a gateway for them to experience the universe.

We are fellow travellers/ friends/ guides/ explorers in our own right and along side them.

I am no longer scared of stuffing up as I once was (well not often anyway). Instead I am left feeling honoured and soooo excited by having such a special role in their lives.

So if I was Parvati at that race… I think I would have grabbed Shiva, Ganesha & Kartikay by the hand (which would have been possible because from memory Parvati had about six hands!) and jumped off into the universe with them all for some great adventures together.

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