Five years in and Im starting to get this parenting thing enough to move categories. I have now graduated from “well intentioned but misguided and clueless” to the “has a vague clue if not always able to live up to it” stage. I reckon by the time Im a grandparent (if it happens) I’ll be getting in my stride and will have reached the “will not put children in therapy” category… well one can only aspire.

A quick aside on that… is it just me or do you sometimes do something/ say something and imagine your child in 20 years sitting on some shrink’s couch relating the story as a key factor to some neurosis? Probably just me… don’t worry, its probably because of something my dad said to me years ago

Anyway, I am realising that so much of my growth as a parent is about seeing things from my children’s world… yes their world can be an exciting, fun, full of adventure. It can also be confusing, unpredictable, disempowering and even scary.

It is a world run by giants. These giants know things, they have amazing abilities and ultimately they have power. It is a world made for giants – doors, sinks, fridges absolutely everything of any importance is designed for them as a constant reminder of whose world it really is. It is a world where new information is pouring in at an amazing rate, sometimes so fast its hard to process. It is a world which at times can seem uncertain, unfair even lonely.

In such an environment my children need connection. They need to feel supported, loved, safe and powerful… In the midst of a melt down, or when when they do not share or yell at me in anger… I find it essential to remind myself of the world they are living in.

When I slip into a parallel universe… oh, did i mention that I will do that one day? I plan to either die by getting hit by a freak meteorite or slip into a parallel universe (mental note to self: stop watching so much sci fi).

But when it happens and i end up in a world where nothing was made for me except things that dont really do anything (read toys), where I need to learn new things every moment just to function at a basic level in a seemingly complex and incomprehensible world that is run by towering, strong giants… well when that day comes I hope that a couple of giants take the time to see things from my perspective.

Maybe they might lend a hand and be there for me to help me grow and feel confident and powerful. They might try to understand me rather than to react to my inevitable frustration or anger. They might also treat me with respect even though I am not as big or powerful as them. Maybe rather than try to control me under the guise of “protection”, they might even choose to “be in my corner” and support me as a partner and friend. Yes that would be exactly what I would want… wouldn’t you?

So until that day comes I can only try to do the same thing for my children as they have adventures in the Land of the Giants.

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