My mum always says, “children are like the paparazzi… you can do no wrong for 99% of the time but if you make a mistake just 1% they will snap you with their photographic memory!”

Over the last 8 months or so i have consciously been applying many new parenting approaches marked by patience, compassion and modelling positive behaviour. (see the article Parenting is Making My Brain Hurt for more on that journey).

Then the other day M was playing very roughly with Z, her 1 yr old baby brother. I asked her to be gentle, stressing Z’s reaction and that he felt uncomfortable and unsafe. I tried to suggest options. I tried to be compassionate to M… then i got sick of it and said “maybe I should treat you the way you are treating Z for a day just so you understand what it is like.”

It was frustration and it was a threat that i immediately regretted but did not think too much of.

Then two days later Z snuck up on his big sister and grabbed her hair hard. She screamed. Then when she calmed down, without anger or rage she went to Z and squeezed his arm very hard. I was too shocked to act, then she stopped, turned to Anne & I and explained, “Im just doing that so he understands what its like.”

The bloody Paparazzi had struck! My lapse getting thrown back in my face!

Im pleased to say that in general M seems to be taking to our compassionate and caring approach with her little brother… and her reflection of my behaviour certainly got me back on track.

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